It all started two decades back. I remember the first time my grandma bought me this fake toy make-up set, which I even being a toddler loved using it, or as you say it in the make-up world applied it like a ‘serious’ pro. And felt pretty from within. Yeah I was two back then. I am sure like any two year olds I didn’t need any make up, but I had seen my aunt (who is still an make up addict herself) applying it in front of her vanity, thus made this toddler very curious.
As I mentioned my aunt earlier, let me give you a brief there. She’s a classical Bharatnatyam and Kathakali Dancer. So you can understand how much she’s into fashion and make-up. She was my childhood inspiration. I started learning the art of classical dance when I was 3-4 years old……Yes a toddler is made to learn Bharatnatyam if you have a at home Classical Dancer. So I did. I absolutely loved dancing and performing.
And as you do, you also start performing at various places where it is required to be all glamorous and decked up. Thus make up played a significant part in it. Well at least it did in my life. Now being introduced to fun side of make up at such an early age I was never afraid or shy about it. But by saying this, I was never allowed to wear make up outside home, just only during the stage performances and definitely a big no in school.
As I followed into my teenage years, I became shy about make up. Now if you ask me why…I honestly don’t know how to answer or justify it. But at that time I remember none of my friends wore make up and none of them performed either. I guess I just wanted to fit in. That was the time I stopped dancing too cause it made me body cautious. I started having body image issues, as I wasn’t the kid anymore physically that I was mentally. I started to care how people perceived me. I envied those who pulled off certain make up looks. And the days I finally got the courage to try adding a bit more kohl (kajal) to my eyes, my friends would put me down by saying ‘’girls who wear make up are insecure about their looks’’. Well that butchered my confidence with time and my love for makeup for some following years.
When I turned 14, a freshman at high school, mind you still have the same make-up non-lover friends. During that period I met my boyfriend, he then made me feel very comfortable in my own skin and for some weird reason I wanted to look and feel pretty for him. So I started taking baby steps towards make up again. Nothing major just bit more of kohl, which was visible and little bit of stained lip balm. Honestly, at that age no one needs more.
My boyfriend helped me a lot in getting back my self-esteem. Because he never judged and let me be me. Being with him I realised looking and feeling pretty doesn’t mean you are insecure or you want attention from others. It’s just a medium of self-expression. Like doing something fun for yourself, as in self-love. I then realised, it was all along doing it for you than anybody else. Yes it’s true it started again for my boyfriend at that time but it all made sense later.
After finishing school, I went to do UK to do my undergrad. While I was living in London, I met and engaged with people from different backgrounds and cultures and fashion sense and make up sense too. It was a life changing experience. I got to know who I was and who I wanted to be. I stopped being judgemental and started to understand everybody screws up but being afraid of screwing up you shouldn’t stop yourself from experimenting. Gosh this all just became very heavy for a make-up fashion blog.
Well what I wanted to say is make-up too is all about experimenting and sometimes failing. So don’t be afraid. Go out there and buy that really bright fuchsia pink lipstick you always fancied…. mind you it won’t work with every look but for those dull days you can surely dub some of it and look like a million bucks. Do show that beautiful finger of yours to whoever gives you that judgy look for what you are wearing.
So in my twenties, when I look back to those pictures where I wanted to look bad so that I can fit in my group of ‘friends’. I realise how stupid and ignorant I was at that time. Make-up has always been a way self expression and my face was the canvas, where I can create any look I felt that day. There’s simply no more pleasing anybody. So my conclusion is let out your inner Diva. If you fancy that bright red lip then do it, (do mind the your work/school ethics and all) if you fancy glittery shoes then why not!? Just do it (Nike Reference). Life’s too short to be judged by cynical, colourless people.
You do you and I do me. Thank you very much.